Rules Of The Road

It was with great dismay and a sense of deja vu that I learned the stroller feuds continue unabated in our fair neighborhood.  I've recently become a prammer myself, and, while the overwhelming majority of Park Slope parents drive with care and consideration, there are enough jerks out there to give us all a bad name. To combat these sidewalk simpletons, I propose the following pramming penalties be implemented immediately.

 

	Violation: Sidewalk Straddling Description: Inconsiderate oaf blocks entire sidewalk to tend to infant by parking the stroller perpendicular to the sidewalk's edge. Here's a tip: park your stroller facing downhill with you on the downhill side. Your baby will be safe from any threat of rolling away from you and your fellow pedestrians will marvel at how considerate you are. Karmic Penalty: Three hours of inconsolable crying starting at 1 AM on a work night.
	Violation: Parallel Pramming Description: Also known as the "nannyjam," this violation involves two sidewalk hogging pram pushers engrossed in conversation to the extent that they are seemingly oblivious to people either in front or behind who wish to pass. I say "seemingly," because sometimes their immovability seems intentional. Karmic Penalty: Five exploding diapers in the space of one hour.
	Violation: PWP (Pramming While Phoning) Description: I'm sure that somewhere there is an individual who can drive, walk and/or push a stroller at the same time. I'm also sure there is intelligent life on other planets, I just haven't witnessed it yet. This particular violation is a threat to ankles everywhere and probably not safe for baby. Karmic Penalty: When baby is hoisted from stroller, she pees voluminously on cell phone, thereby shorting it out.

Please feel free to add your own violations and penalties in comments.

Comments

[June]

Description: How about when you are out shopping for clothes and some inconsiderate has parked her stroller directly in front of the rack of clothes you'd like to investigate; that always erks me.

Who gave some women the idea that having a child makes you immune from having a little consideration for everyone else? I'm sorry if this is offensive to some of you mothers,(I happen to beam a mother of two) I'm not talking about all of you but I have known quite a few women who when are around their children seem to forget that the rest of the world exists.

Karmic Penalty: Baby spit up on newly purchased items.

[June]

Description: How about when you are out shopping for clothes and some inconsiderate has parked her stroller directly in front of the rack of clothes you'd like to investigate; that always erks me.

Who gave some women the idea that having a child makes you immune from having a little consideration for everyone else? I'm sorry if this is offensive to some of you mothers,(I happen to beam a mother of two) I'm not talking about all of you but I have known quite a few women who when are around their children seem to forget that the rest of the world exists.

Karmic Penalty: Baby spit up on newly purchased items.

[madman]

Brooklyn is too big not to have idiots. The problem is that when idiots have kids, they become self-righteous idiots. My small dog barked at a young boy who came running down the street screaming and waving a branch around his head. The kid's dad was nearly a full block away talking on his cell phone. My wife scolded our dog and was apologizing to the surprised kid when dad comes running up yelling and cursing at my wife. I almost beat the crap out of him right there in front of his kid. Instead, I told him that our dog was on a leash and maybe he should consider the same for his kid if he wasn't going to pay attention to where he was running off to. Since when does being a parent mean you can treat other people like crap?

[jdubs]

My issue is definitely with the cohesion of taking baby out in a massive stroller (a la Bugaboo) and then attempting to navigate into shops and venues which aren't built to accomodate it.

I'm thinking of the debate over strollers in the 7th Ave Barnes & Noble... or an experience I once had with a customer at DuMont Burger in Williamsburg, where I was bartending: the customer brought in her massive Bugaboo, and then proceeded to have a few drinks, for a few hours, at the bar (that's really all the DB is), while her stroller blocked customers from navigating the tiny space. It was ridiculous (though not as bad as the father who brought his baby in, ignored the child, then yelled at us when the boy fell from the bar stool to the slate floor -- shouting, "This place should be WAY more child-friendly!" No, sir, you should.)
Annnnyyhowwww. I just find that getting trapped among the strollers indoors is even worse than on the street. Usually on the street I have an escape route available.

[carolita]

The way I see it, taxis are mass transportation -- in many cities some streets are taxi and bus only. That's what this city needs. I notice that the ones with the Bugaboos are usually more annoying, rude, and selfish. They feel free to take up lots of space. Not only that, I see too many parents taking their kids OUT of their strollers to occupy another seat. This means they're taking up space not only in the aisle, but also an extra seat. Very very annoying. They don't even teach their brats to say "sorry" when they kick you, or spill their juice boxes into your lap.

Manners are to be learned by many of these parents. Beyond the sidewalk rules. The sidewalk rudeness is just the tip of the iceberg.

Don't think I hate all kids! I happen to know some very nice, polite, well brought-up kids. Not many, but a few worth mentioning.

[Dope]

There should be a rule against tailgating! I can't tell you how many times some dumb boob has pushed her stroller right into the backs of my ankles!

That's happened to me before to. This certainly isn't an excuse, but I think the major causes of this are distraction due to:

A) Being in a hurry.
B) Gazing at your child who is facing you in the stroller.

As for the first reason, I've just decided to use the baby carrier when I'm really pressed for time. When I do use the stroller, I still find myself looking at my baby when I should be looking ahead. However, he's reached the age where he doesn't want to be looking backwards, so I've lately taken to turning the car seat facing forward. That should keep me from rear-ending anyone.

But...

If you do rear end someone, and accidents do happen, you should apologize profusely.

Another rule, for the subway: if you can afford a seven hundred dollar Bugaboo, you belong in a cab, not on my subway!

Have to disagree with you there. Everyone should use the subway regardless of income. It would make the streets a lot safer and the air a lot cleaner. As for the Bugaboo being a bit large for the subway, I have to agree. Buy an umbrella stroller - your fellow riders and your lower back will thank you (think of all the stairs!)

I say "worth consideration" to be socioculturally sensitive.
Ah, a high utility phrase for every occasion.

[mykidsaregrown]

Bravo! You have started an important discussion in a civilized manner.

Since it is highly unlikely Seventh Ave. will be widened in our lifetimes, perhaps some rules about use of Seventh Ave. during peak periods (weekends, e.g.) are worth consideration. I say "worth consideration" to be socioculturally sensitive. Of course, I realize you absolutely must pick up your dry cleaning, buy a pound of three penny nails at Tarzian and stop for coffee and muffins at Connecticut Muffin at noon on Saturday, but shouldn't there be something akin to peak-hour pricing on tolls applied to stroller usage on Seventh Ave.?

[carolita]

There should be a rule against tailgating! I can't tell you how many times some dumb boob has pushed her stroller right into the backs of my ankles! They really are completely oblivious to anyone but themselves!

Another rule, for the subway: if you can afford a seven hundred dollar Bugaboo, you belong in a cab, not on my subway! Have a heart, for chrissakes! It's crowded enough without giant strollers that mock my financial modesty by costing more than half my rent.

[Dope]

widen the sidewalks on 7th avenue by 5 feet on each side.

I'm all for that.

With all of the strollers, dogs, joggers, shopping carts, razor scooters, and what not, I'd guess the number of human beings using the sidewalks of 7th avenue exceeds the number of human beings using the street by a substantial margin. Give the space to the people who make the most efficient use of it.

[Dope]

I think you should have a SUS (Sports-Utility-Stroller) category for those dopes who buy humungous strollers.

Good idea, although I have to admit by your definition I'm living up to the "dope" moniker because we own a bugaboo, which has a much wider wheel base than your typical umbrella stroller. I think they are ideal for long strolls where the aim is to get your baby out and about - a stroll down a less crowded street or up to the park, for example. However, they are definitely not designed for taking into shops, restaurants, extremely busy sidewalks or the subway. I'm researching umbrella strollers right now. I understand there are some fairly well made ones that fold up with one hand.

[dave]

widen the sidewalks on 7th avenue by 5 feet on each side.

[chandru]

I think you should have a SUS (Sports-Utility-Stroller) category for those dopes who buy humungous strollers. I actually saw one with a *disc brakes* on 16" wheels once, maybe it was re-purposed from a converted bicycle.

Karmic Penalty for anything larger than an umbrella-style stroller: Baby has obesity issues.